What does every man want to do in bed? Play a rousing game of Settlers of Catan. And also, sometimes, have sex. But what’s the best way to please your man? (Besides, you know, agreeing to hang out with him in bed in the first place.) Christina Aguilera wrote a song about “what a girl wants” and “what a girl needs” – but what do men want? What do men need? To paraphrase Xtina, here are ten things you can do to “make him happy and set him free.”
1. Lean in
Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” And nobody knows more about sex than Albert Einstein. That guy was a player. Basically, if what’s happening isn’t working, don’t be afraid to say so. Take charge, and let him know. Maybe even give him a private “peep show” so he can see what pleases you. And if it was really good, ask him for money afterwards.
2. Be direct
The bedroom is no place for subtlety. “Tell him how good it feels when he does something right, or remind him of a technique that always gets you off,” says sex therapist Gloria Brame. “If he’s not giving you enough foreplay, ask him to use his hand or mouth to warm you up, saying that you want to draw out the experience.”
3. Get visual
Guys like visuals, so don’t be afraid to bust out the mirror. It might seem narcissistic, but seeing yourselves in action might get you off even more. It’s like you’re the stars of your own movie.
4. Be confident
Don’t be shy – let your freak flag fly! Deep down, we’re all weirdos, so just embrace it. “Women are often afraid to get naughty in a relationship, because they don’t want to shatter any ‘good girlfriend’ image he has or they don’t want him to think they’re weird,” says sex therapist Georgia Brame. “But men want to see that no-holds-barred side of you — they just don’t want to offend you by asking for it.”
5. Be spontaneous
If you feel like you’re falling into a boring pattern, try something new. Stop by the local sex toy store – you know which one – and pick out a prop. A new toy could add some unexpected fun. Christmas only comes once a year, but that doesn’t mean you have to! Feel free to mix it up. “Variety keeps him in a heightened state of arousal because he never knows what to expect,” says psychologist Joel Block, author of The Art of the Quickie.
6. Go wild
Embrace your primal urges, and rip each other’s clothing off! Literally. In the heat of passion, tearing a shirt in half can feel pretty awesome, and it’s especially appropriate if you’re doing some The Hulk roleplay. (Make sure you to ask your partner if it’s okay beforehand, though.)
7. Dominate him
You don’t have to go full dominatrix, but try some Fifty Shades of Grey stuff. Boss him around, and take full control. Tell him what to do, and if he doesn’t do it, he will be punished. (Possibly by being forced to read Fifty Shades of Grey.
8. Talk about your fantasies
Remember that Ludacris song, “What’s Your Fantasy?” Ludacris’ fantasy was to “li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes.” Take a step from Luda, and open up about your fantasies. You and your partner can trust each other. You should feel safe sharing your deepest desires. Even it’s about li-li-li-licking toes.
9. Get kinky
Don’t be afraid to get kink. “For many guys, the more stress they have, the more they may want to do sexual acts that are out of the ordinary,” says sexologist Dr. Kristie Overstreet. Go ahead and tell your partner you’re a furry. The couples that yiffs together, stays together.There you have it – now you know everything men want to do in bed. And if none of this works, just whip out Settlers of Catan.